Kijang Academy, Bank Negara.

Kijang Award 2015.

Or rather scholarship.

  You already know what I'm going to blog about now. If you don't, then let me make this clear for you. It's about my experience of being in the running for the prestigious (in my opinion) Kijang Award of Bank Negara Malaysia. Although not as grandiose as Kijang Emas Award where the recipients are straight A+ scorers, Kijang Award is for straight A students without any A-, given a limited choice of courses related to the Central Bank to pursue pre-university and subsequently, undergraduate studies.

Upon application, we were required to write an essay to prove our worth. Besides having a string of A's and a stack of co-curricular certificates, I believe that your passion for the chosen course is the major determining factor. Let's be honest, every applicant of Bank Negara's scholarship is guaranteed to be academically excellent with, very likely, impressive co-curricular achievements. The only thing that truly makes you shine amongst all these diamonds will be your essay, where you prove your passion for the selected courses. Having high fluency in English is a given. In all honesty, I really gave my all in writing the essay because I love essay-writing, especially any in English.

I almost missed the date to RSVP for Kijang Academy, basically a programme dedicated to assess potential Bank Negara scholars. So on 19 March (Friday, will call it "pre-day" henceforth), my sister, grandma and I drove to the capital city, stopping by at Petaling Jaya where my sis and grandma would stay over at a relative's place while I was at Kijang Academy.

At 4 pm, we headed to Lanai Kijang, a hotel owned by the Central Bank of Malaysia, and I checked in. Upon entering the well-furnished lobby, I was so scared and intimidated by all the other intelligent candidates who seemed to be in their element. On the other hand, I kept sticking to my sister because inferiority was engulfing me whole. I was lucky to meet a fellow candidate from Terengganu, who was facing the same situation as I was. Almost everyone there knows one another, a mutual friend of him or her, participants of same camps or competitions. And then there was me, who literally has no acquaintance among the hundred people.

But after my sister and grandma went home (with me forcing them), I plucked up the courage to talk to people and get new acquaintances. Everyone was super friendly and nice, which made me feel more at ease despite not knowing anyone at first. And because I came from an unpopular daily school, I have to admit that I felt inferior from most of them who came from prestigious boarding schools (though to be frank, I know none of the acronyms of their school names). Anyway, we were standing in circles, trying to get to know everyone else to relieve our nerves and also finding out who our roommates were.

The room they provided for us in Lanai Kijang. So comfy! The view is great too. Pardon the distortion, I had to blur out my sister who was photobombing the room. :3

OK, so we had dinner at the hotel's restaurant, which served really delicious food. Then, I went up to my room to freshen up and perform my Maghrib prayers but my hotel card wasn't working! Now here's the stressful part. I went down to the reception and told them my problem, so they reset the key-card, but it still wasn't working. I eventually resorted to borrowing my roommate's card since she didn't plan on going up. And even if she did, I was in the room after all.

So, I felt all clean and nice after a refreshing shower and prayer, with a little relaxing later, watching a TVB drama. Then my roommate called me to say that we were supposed to be down in the conference hall although the time was still early. And she had to come up to take her documents as well. Now, long story short, I clumsily locked both of us out of our room at the most crucial moment. I was freaking out because I'm easily flustered that way. My roommate was very calm and I admire that quality so much.

We eventually arrived at the conference hall about 10 minutes late, so the Bank Negara staff was already separating everyone into their respective groups of seven by calling out names through the sound system onstage. Luckily, a lady by the side was going through the list again for everyone else who missed their names in the announcement. I was placed in K7, the 'K' standing for Kijang.

I met a fellow Brain Bee finalist in my group and we spoke a little before the official briefing started. The night of pre-day was just about telling us roughly what we would go through for the next two days. There was a Q&A session, where the fun part really started. You really get to hear creative questions from the lot of us, perhaps trying to give a good impression, or purely out of curiosity.

At the end of Pre-Day, K7 is renamed 'One Direction' with the motto "We've got that one thing!" since one of our members is a Directioner (and I'm an ex-Directioner). But everyone was sporting enough to accept the concept, so we settled at that, had supper together as a bonding session, then got up to sleep.

Day 1 (Saturday, 20 March 2016)

So, I woke up at 5.30am on Day 1, thanks to my sister's phone call and my alarm. I told her to wake me up at 5.30am and my mum (who was in Penang) to give me a wake-up call at 6.00am, just in case. I was quite proud of myself that I didn't gone back sleeping after the call. When my mum called, I was already ready and about to perform my Subuh prayers. (She was in disbelief, very obviously).

At 7 am, I went down for breakfast with my roommate. Breakfast was great because there were pancakes and I love pancakes a lot. Now I regret not savouring the delicacies throughout my stay in Lanai Kijang because the food is truly great, but I just wasn't in the mood for some serious food hunting. So, I really just ate whatever intrigued me and in the smallest portion ever. If I were at home, I could double the quantity and still be craving for more.

OK, food aside, at 8 am, the Kijang Academy participants were transported to Sasana Kijang via a bus. I think I speak for everyone when I say that Sasana Kijang is an awe-inducing, glass-and-metal building standing majestically as a gigantic icon of pride for Bank Negara and the country. The architecture is an art itself, added with the meaning etched with the structure that I've read somewhere beforehand. I saw pictures and heard of its glory, but seeing it myself was very surreal.

My picture probably doesn't do the magnificent building justice but you get my admiration, right?

With no time to gape over the exterior, we were guided into the lobby, and then to our respective training rooms by group. K7, or One Direction, were a bit awkward at first, judging by how every topic ended with an uncomfortable silence after a few people spoke. The conversation didn't really flow but it was a good start in getting to know each other.

Later, our three assessors entered, beginning the first task of the day after they introduced themselves. At first, I was expecting uptight, straight-to-business people in suits and ties, but I thought wrong. They were laid-back, nice people in casual clothes. After every assessment, they gave us really constructive criticism, hoping we would do better in the next. I could really feel their sincerity with each and every piece of advice they told us. I learned so much after spending a whole day with them and my teammates.

The first and second assessments were case-studies, which were a tad bit stressful and challenging, given that we had no idea about most of the problem-solving skills required. However, I liked it because it brought out sides of me that I never knew exist in myself. Teamwork is essential, critical thinking even more so. And the crucial one is your communication skills, since you will be presenting your plans to an audience.

The tips here is to be confident. You won't be able to give a textbook answer, and that is absolutely fine because they don't expect you to know that much after all. (It's better if you do, but as someone who hasn't touched a book for 3 months since SPM, how much could you possibly do? Speaking from firsthand experience here.) Don't be afraid of mistakes or if you'll 'look stupid' because mistakes and failures are the stepping stone to improvements and success. So what if you do look stupid? At least you're not faking a non-existing 'intelligence', which is the worst above all.

Moving on, the third assessment was the channel to show your burning passion for your desired field of study. I personally think I didn't fare that well in this one because I didn't have a fiery passion for my course at that time. I had taken a liking for it, but it was only later that night that I began to truly fall in love with it.

We got into the training room a bit earlier for the third assessment, so we were blessed with this great view.

And for the last assessment of the day, I was fretting before it started. Since I didn't do well in the previous one and I was genuinely exhausted, I had little to no spirit for the fourth one. What worsened the situation was that I knew the assessment involved building something out of daily materials, something I read about in other blogs. The past years, they had to build bridges or swings that could support several books. I had never done things like that and disliked them too, because I am not good or creative enough for them.

Upon reading the question and saw the materials, which consisted of a deck of playing cards and scissors, I felt a certain doom haunting me. We were supposed to build a twin-tower that could withstand resistance (in other words, shaking the table). My first thought was to arrange the cards like so:

But clearly that won't be able to survive even the slightest shake, what more a violent quake. Then, a group member cut slits to one of the cards to demonstrate her idea and from there, the neurons in my brain were stimulated rapidly. When I was young, I used to play with a calendar that was arranged to form a tower, making use of slits. I drew the basic idea out to show my group and they all agreed it'd be a good idea to try.

This was the design that I had in mind.

Two of us were in charge to cut the slits on the cards, while another two were responsible for the presentation, and the remainder focused on putting together the twin tower. It was the first time we got to work right away with little time spent on planning. I have to say that I was quite proud of myself for being able to contribute the basis of our tower, but it was because of my teammate's idea to cut slits in the first place.

Once building time is over, the other team (there were two teams per room for this activity) came over to drum the table as a simulation of an earthquake, as opposed to shaking the table as we originally thought. Fortunately, our twin towers didn't topple, although watching it from the side was nerve-wrecking! We did the same to the other team's towers and theirs stood up till the end too, so it was a successful attempt from both group. Then, we gave our final presentation before concluding the day with pictures, sincere advice and a heartfelt thank you to our assessors and members. Ah, it was bittersweet although we had only spent a few hours together.

By the way, did I mention that there were breaks between each assessment, and they prepared refreshments outside of our training rooms. For lunch, they prepared a hall for us and the food there was quite satisfactory. Again, I didn't eat much because we came down quite late and the food was finishing. Plus, three other assessors from another group sat with us, probably evaluating us indirectly. Or maybe they were just friendly and wanted to talk to us.

One of the memorable question the assessor asked me was why I would work for the country when it's in a saddening current state. And this answer came from my heart; if everyone chooses to leave, who's going to change the country? They were funny, interesting people to speak with, and I enjoyed the conversation we had over lunch.

So, back to the end of assessments, we all went back to Lanai Kijang to rest and have dinner. After dinner, the moment of truth finally arrived. We were gathered in the conference hall like the previous night, before they started to call out name after name, whose owners must leave the hall to be briefed about Day 2's assessment. They started out with the Kijang Emas candidates and subsequently, Kijang. In K7, five out of seven names were called, leaving me and my fellow Penangite teammate in the hall, a bit shocked and disappointed.

To be frank, before entering the hall, I was contemplating my wish, whether or not I want to be shortlisted for Day 2. If I passed through Day 1, I would have to prepare for the next one, which involved more effort when I was already so tired. If I wasn't shortlisted, it would honestly hurt my pride and let down my mum. So during Maghrib prayers, I asked for Allah to give what is best for me. At that point, I solely leave everything to Him, because He would know better.

So, when the last of name had been called, the lady in charge, Ms Aireen, congratulated everyone in the hall for being shortlisted for Day 2. Which came as a pleasant surprise for all of us! It became apparent that they didn't want to hurt the feelings of the other participants. I was even more grateful that my roommate was also shortlisted, at least it wouldn't be awkward in the room later.

We were told what kind of assessment would take place the day after and the necessary preparations to be made. I went up without waiting for supper to start packing up my things since we would be leaving early tomorrow. Then, I called my mum and sis to share the good news, my dad even gave me some tips on nailing the three-on-one interview. And I read up about Bank Negara, Finance and universities.

At about 1 am, I went to bed, which was a bad choice because...

Day 2 (Sunday, 21 March 2016)

...I overslept. I slept through my alarms, and after my mum called at 6 am, I went back to sleep. My sister didn't call me at 5.30am because I forgot to remind her the night before. So yeah, I woke up at 6.15am, quickly showered so that my roommate could do so too, and quickly readied myself. I even put on a blazer for today because impressions.

So, like yesterday, I had breakfast with the other Kijang Academy participants in the hotel's restaurant. I think I only had cereals for this particular morning, but it was still so good. We then waited at the lobby after storing our luggage, took the bus and to Sasana Kijang we went. Seeing the building for the second time still amazed me all the same but again, we had no time to be in awe. There were more important things to do, like saving the world! ...Joking.

 In small groups, we were guided into a huge room on one of the upper floors (I couldn't remember which), taking a glass elevator that needs an access card to function. The room was filled with two chairs per table, which meant that a table was shared by a pair. Because I was one of the earlier ones to get there, I confidently sat at the front-most table. I still have no idea where that courage came from.

No one actually sat with me, so I had a table to myself, and trust me, it didn't make me feel any better. It's as if I was the only one with no friends, but I befriended my table-neighbours by having small chitchats. One of them was also a fellow Brain Bee finalist, so it was nice to see her again.

There weren't really much space for talking because the facilitators started to divide us into groups of five by announcing names. We weren't required to rearrange our seating, but to keep in mind of our respective group number. Then, we were given two pieces of mahjong paper each, marker pens and half an hour to prepare for a 10-minute presentation by choosing one out of three topics.

 I was contemplating between question 1 and 2, but I ended up with the latter, about unemployment among graduates. The topic appealed more to me because it was a headline reported by Bernama, my father's workplace. OK, not really. It was because I had a clearer vision of my thoughts with that particular topic. I used up two pieces of mahjong paper although I illustrated my points very simply. There wasn't much time to make things complicated and I didn't want to confuse myself during the presentation.

 The half an hour was up and we were required to submit our mahjong sheets to the facilitators, who then brought particular groups to different parts of the building. The meeting rooms were where our three-on-one interview would be taking place. There were at least 6
different meeting rooms on the floor and they look very stylish. I really loved the ambiance it radiated as all of us awaited for our turns outside the rooms. From where we were sitting, we could see inside the glass walls as the interviews commenced for the fellow candidates.

Today is no exception. They had already served tea break when I finished my 40-minute session. The fried dim sum is the best. *thumbs up*

 I was the second person of my group but each candidate took approximately 40 minutes, so I had plenty of time to dissipate my nerves as I chatted with my group members, K7. (Yes, I was still in K7, but the members were different except for the Penangite who was also in K7 before). And not long after the first person of K7 came back from her interview, my name was called and I was lead into a meeting room with no glass wall.

 Inside, three ladies awaited for me with a pleasant smile. One of them took my files containing certificates and then ushered me to start my presentation. I took a deep breath, said 'basmallah' and began I did. Of course, self-introduction is compulsory, then I dived straight into the topic I chose. I stuttered a lot, I think, but I knew I got my message across. After going through all my points, I came to a conclusion and waited for the panel of interviewers to pose questions. Which they did after telling me to have a seat.

 Everyone would have different questions shot at them because we're all different in the first place. But some of the typical interview questions like 'where do you see yourself in 10 years' or 'what is an experience you hold dear to yourself' are bound to surface. I was a bit flustered upon receiving the former question, but I just replied what was at the tip of my tongue. "I'd be working in Bank Negara."

 Common sense is very much needed here. You're not talking to a robot, they're all humans. You can argue (as long as you stay polite) and I'm sure they would appreciate your input. Though, if you're not asked for any, then it's best to stay quiet and listen to whatever they have to say. After all, they're far more experienced than you and most likely, have been conducting this kind of interview to plenty of potential scholars. So, just smile, be honest and be the best of yourself.

 A point about honesty; I wrote about my passion for language and my wish to pursue linguistic in my essay during the online application. I was inquired about that, exactly like what I had expected the night before when I was talking to myself as a practice for today's interview. (It works, really.) So, as if I've been saying this all my life, I said, "I didn't think my passion has to be my career."

 I honestly believe that after brainwashing myself before going for Kijang Academy. There is little to no chance that I'd be able to pursue linguistics as my degree, so I thought I'll make it a hobby. Anyhow, I have been writing stories and blog posts during my school days, where I studied in Science stream. If I truly love writing, I'd be able to do it even when it can't be my full-time dedication. Plus, I'm very determined to learn a lot of new languages; Chinese, Korean and German being my top priority for now.

 Personal wish aside, I was not afraid to admit that I'm a language enthusiast, even though it might risk me not being chosen as a Bank Negara scholar for Finance. I just wanted to be crystal clear about myself and not wanting to lie to them or even myself. I was very dang passionate in that room, again, not knowing where all that fiery passion came from.

 So, my advice:

#1 Find yourself. Why do you want to be a Bank Negara scholar? If you answer: "For the prestige that title holds," then you really need to reconsider your choices. It doesn't matter whose scholar you are, what matters is that you're passionate in pursuing whichever course you chose. Find yourself, as in, understand yourself  and stop lying to yourself. If you want to pursue Engineering, why are you signing yourself up for Economics?

#2 Be yourself. So you've found yourself. Now, be it. If you say you don't mind studying Economics (like how I don't mind studying Finance), then make sure you mean what you say. Are you really willing to give up on Engineering and study something completely unrelated to it? Can you really compromise this decision for the rest of your life? I can, that's why I don't mind letting go of Linguistics.

#3 Relax, stay calm. If you're sincere and honest, no one can pull you down, no matter how harsh of an interviewer you get. No one can dampen your will if you're absolutely determined to get this scholarship. So, relax. If you're a winner, you already are from the start. Fretting won't help at all.

#4 Don't be afraid of mistakes. Everyone there is either 18 or younger. The interviewers don't expect the wisdom of a 40-year-old from you. There is room for mistakes, just make sure you take note of them for future improvement.

And that's it from me! My 3 days and 2 nights of adventure in Kijang Academy. Did I warn you about the long post, because it's as if I'm writing a novel with this length. Sorry, but I just want to share everything as detailed as possible to help those who need it.

And the weeks of torturous waiting are normal, so bear with it. Go on with your life, attending other scholarship interviews. The only other scholarship interview I went was Petronas, but I'll save that for another post!

PS: I'm a Bank Negara, Kijang Scholar of Finance! Inshaallah, I hope to see you on my journey. I am extremely grateful for the opportunity that Bank Negara has given me. But even more so towards the Almighty who has bestowed me this blessing. For He knows better, always. :)

Silent Storm.